IF YOU CAN'T SAY SOMETHING NICE…

As Thumper's mother said to him in Bambi, "If you can't say something nice, don't say nothin' at all." Well you might wonder why I've been absent without an excuse for the past months in 2012. It's because I didn't have very much that was nice (or interesting) to say. Only my faith and friends got me through this year.

2012 was a difficult year. It was a time of worry, a time when things that I never expected to happen, happened and at times, overwhelmed me. But that is in the past, or I have put it in the past and resolved (even before New Year's Eve) that it will change. Oh, I tried to write. I'd come into my studio, sit at the computer and think of who I should contact and who I owed an email to, and just go into brain freeze and end up playing Free Cell, Solitaire or Hearts. I didn't seem to have any trouble doing that.

As most of you know my true love, after Lenny, is writing. I started what I thought was my next novel in May 2012 (tentatively called The Journey Back or The Truth Will Set You Free although I don't really like either of those titles. It is in a holding pattern because I just was stuck. Then in September 2012 I had another idea and started another novel (tentatively called Sissy after the lead character - the real title will come to me later). I seem to be able to continue with this one but it's slow going. Still I am determined to at least finish one or the other in early 2013. What has changed? Nothing really but I am convinced this is what is going to happen. I have faith and am determined to reserve a small amount of time each and every day no matter if it is while Lenny naps or in the wee hours of the night (I am a night owl but have become addicted to some silly television programs.) I think they make me concentrate on something else but that's not a good idea at all. If I write, I'm thinking of something I really care about. So, I'm going to try really hard to keep this self-promise.

I have been thinking of how to make this change because sometimes when you get out of a routine it's difficult to get back to the place you really want to be. So, I've challenged myself to either work on the manuscript(s) or at least blog two or three times a week. I have heard of an idea for blogging that promotes a daily blog by going through the alphabet. Maybe that might work. Whatever! I'm going to give it a try. I know I might have lost the few followers I had because of this gigantic hiatus but I'll give it a try. It might be fun and it might just keep me on the right tract - Writing -- after all I am a writer.

See you in the (very) near future. God bless you.

What a Tuesday

There are blessings and then there are blessings. Lenny had an appointment with his eye doctor at 10:30. Now that might not sound so difficult except -- well since my doctor changed my meds I'm sleeping much better (that's a blessing) but with all we have to do in the morning care-wise for him, I had to set the alarm clock to be sure we were up and away in time for the doctor. I hate that alarm clock and once made a promise to myself that when I retired I'd never use it again. That promise was broken years ago but I still hate the alarm clock.

So we were off to the doctor's on time and it was a good meeting. Lenny has a MRSR infection that he brought home from rehab. It's in his eyes and if any of you know about MRSRs they are a pain. For 8 weeks we've been putting drops in 4 times a day, ointment at bedtime and two antibiotic pills a day. Today the doctor said the infection is still there but better. He doesn't want to see him for 6-8 weeks. That's another blessing.

Then a reporter from the News Sun, a local newspaper, came to the house to interview me for a write-up in the paper. The writ-up will also appear in the Heartland Cultural Alliance newsletter. It's all about why I write, how I write and featuring Finding Amy. Another blessing.

We are card players and so every Tuesday evening we wheel it up to the clubhouse in our golf cart (it is never used for golf anymore but I guess it's still a golf cart). On Tuesdays we play Euchre, a silly game with five cards per hand and some even sillier rules but it's fun and a night out.

Right now I'm supposed to be watching the Yankees but I'm in here. Lenny is watching and will bring me up-to-date when I return to the living room. I'm as big a fan of sports as he is and since he cannot read well right now, I'm getting even better by reading the sports pages to him. Watched a bit of the French Open Tennis this morning, too. Surprisingly I'm a fan of golf, baseball, football and tennis.

Guess I'd better quite and see what the Yankees are up to. More to come. Have a wonderful day (tomorrow since today is almost gone). See you soon,

She's back

I know it's been WAY too long since I wrote on my blog. Hope everyone hasn't abandoned me but it's been an unusual five months. After spending 82 consecutive days in hospital or rehab, my darling husband, Lenny, returned home on March 12th. Since then he has been improving day by day, with a few setbacks, but still improving. My job is to care for him, a job I don't really consider as a job but more a pleasurable responsibility. This responsibility is made even easier by his cheerful, optimistic attitude. We still sing every day! We still do our daily devotional, watch a lot television, read and just plain enjoy each other's company. He continues to have home health care which is a blessing. But time have changed and one of the changes is that this new routine has eaten into my writing hours but I continue to write. My thirteenth novel is in the works, slowly proceeding. But, I have discovered there are benefits even in the midst of turmoil and unsettling times. We are closer than ever before; I have a bit more reading time; and things that seemed routine in the past now hold a much deeper meaning. When you feel God is with you every step of the way, troubles are less significant and the 'good stuff' seems even better. Of course, even in dark times there are flashes of light and one of the biggest flashes of light in my current world is the publication of my twelfth novel FINDING AMY. When this manuscript won Book of the Year award and first place in women's fiction, unpublished, I was astounded. I loved the story but to find that my peers felt it was worthy of this endorsement was beyond my wildest dreams. Last week I received my first copies. The joy of holding that book in my hands for the first time is immeasurable. The book is available on amazon.com, B&N; Kindle and Book Nook and through my publisher at http://doubleedgepress.com. The cover is beautiful and the upgraded format is wonderful, all due to my publisher's talent and personal input. She is truly a God-send. I urge you to go to her website to see just what she has to offer and to get a peek at other available books and the cover for Finding Amy. I wish I was talented enough to get the cover and blurb on the blog but with a little help from friends I just may be able to do that soon. Fingers crossed. I'm going to promise to be blogging much more regularly in the near future. I left the site because I was overwhelmed with the situation which I thought not many would be interested in to any great extent and because I just literally didn't have the time. Until next time, have wonderful, blessing filled days. Until next time. (apparently I can't figure out how to separate the paragraphs. While I was absent Google sneaked in and changed things. I'll work it out.

Tie and Knot and Hang On

Life has become a Soap Opera and things have just gotten into such a turmoil I find myself swirling from thought to thought, prayer to prayer, and the script seems to just rumble on from disaster to disaster.

I don't know why I'm so confused -- I know my prayers will be answered, one way or the other; I know God is in my corner, that He is hearing all the prayers and messages of thanksgiving family and friends are sending Him. Every morning I read our daily devotional and then the scriptures listed to enhance and explain the messages. But, while my faith doesn't waiver I feel weak for a couple of reasons. You see, this is the 50th day Lenny has either been in hospital or rehab. Every one of those days, with God's help, I've been at his side for eight to ten hours (a couple of times continuously for 48 hours). He is now back in the hospital, his diagnosis pneumonia, urinary tract infection (or the combination of both). And, of course, his Parkinson's Disease isn't helping anything, especially the choking and swallowing problems. Of course, the fact that he'll be 89 next month is also a factor, I'm sure. Isn't this dreary? Right now he can't stand or walk on his own. This after 41 days of therapy where he had come from not being able to stand and walk on his own to such an improved state they were planning on discharging him this week. Stuff dreams are made of…but now they are on hold, again.

This does sound like a bloody soap opera, doesn't it? That is if I allow it. Right now I'm fighting and the prayers and good wishes of family and friends are my mainstay. But, and isn't there always a but? I'm not going to be at his side today, I'm too sick to go in to a hospital —cold, sore throat, cough and all the rest. I can't expose him and others to my malady.

So, when your mind is in a turmoil you flit from one thing to the other, question yourself and only make things seem blacker than they are. The author in me is continually trying to write and re-write the script and that is out of my hands and I know it. This morning when I awoke, coughing, sneezing, aching and discouraged, I heard my mother's voice (she's been gone for 17 years). She said, "Sunny, when you get to the end of your rope you tie a knot in it and hang on." She always seemed to have a funny or poignant answer to problems. Maybe that's because she, as all of us, had a lot of 'life's problems'.

I'm hanging on. Things will get better. Thanks for listening and please, keep on praying. That's the only answer we have.